DeanCas Fics Based Off of Songs
by ill-interrogate-the-cat
Summary: These are a bunch of Mini Dean/Cas fics I make that I base off of songs :D Note: Each one will be different from the last so they will not relate to one another
1. Anthem of the Angels

_There is nothing left of you  
I can see it in your eyes  
Sing the anthem of the angels  
And say the last goodbye_

_I keep holding onto you  
But I can't bring you back to life  
Sing the anthem of the angels  
Then say the last goodbye_

"Remember, Cas," I said before we left my Baby, "Always keep your eyes open for vamps. There's normally more than we expect with these things." This was Cas' first hunt he went on since Metatron took his grace. There plenty of opportunities for him to go but I was always too nervous. I couldn't risk him getting hurt now that he's human because now he can't just mojo heal himself. I mean, he's my best friend- sometimes I think he may be more than that to me but I'll probably never tell him; I just can't have a relationship with hunting as my job, it's too risky.

"I know, Dean, you've told me that many times now," Castiel said with a sigh as he exited the car. "There is no need for you to worry." We went to the trunk of my car to get our machetes.

I sighed at him. "Cas, I always worry with you," I told him honestly but this seemed to make him a bit pissed. Castiel turned quickly to face me.

"Just because I'm human now doesn't mean I'm weak, Dean," he sharply said before slamming the trunk shut and storming off towards the nest. I quickly, but quietly, rush towards him and put a hand on his shoulder to turn him around.

"Damn it, Cas, that's not what I meant," I whispered sharply.

"Then what _did_ you mean?" I contemplated on telling him how I might feel for him. It scared the shit out of me just thinking about telling him. I don't know if he feels the same or not and if he didn't this could just ruin our friendship, which is definitely not okay. But also the men in my family don't do good with relationships. There was mom and dad- which ended with mom dying (then dad years later). There was Sam and Jessica- which also ended with Jess dying (then Sam later but he came back thankfully). There was also Bobby and Karen. Sure Bobby isn't blood family but as he always said, "Family don't end with blood." The point is that the one we love always dies in an awful way; it's one of our many curses. It just seems like I would be signing Cas' death contract.

I decided to keep it simple. "Look, Cas," I said as I took my hand off of his shoulder, "You're important to me and I just can't lose you, not again. I need you, man, angel or not, I don't really care. So please, Cas, _please_ be careful." God, I feel like a girl talking about my feelings like this, even though I was very discrete about it.

Cas seemed to know what I meant somehow 'cause he took a few steps closer so that there was barely any space between us anymore and put the hand that wasn't holding the machete on my face so it was cradling my cheek. I leaned slightly into the touch well aware that, no matter how girly it sounds, my heart was beating faster. And then I couldn't take it anymore; I closed the remaining space between us, putting one are round his neck, and melded our lips together. Though his lips were a bit chapped, they were still soft. All of my doubts from no longer than five minutes ago vanished as I melted into Castiel. It all ended too fast when we heard a crash coming from inside the shed. We jumped apart from each other looked towards the shed that was holding the forgotten vampires.

"We are continuing that later, got that," I told him. I looked over to him and saw him smiling.

"Yes, Dean," he replied. And with that we headed towards the vamps. We quietly entered and immediately stopped in our tracks. There we a lot more than we had thought. Before we estimated that there'd be only about six or seven, but here, now, there were at least eleven. Well, there was no turning back now so we came in and started the fight. We got eight killed before we got a major injury. There were two holding me back and the other had Cas. It managed to get Castiel's blade away from him and the vamp corned Cas.

"You get the fuck away from him!" I yelled. It couldn't kill Cas, not now, not ever. Instead of it leaving Cas, like I doubted anyway, it grabbed him by the throat and put its mouth by his neck.

"I don't think I will, Winchester." The vampire inhaled deeply through its nose. "He smells too tasty to just let him go free." Castiel squirmed in the vamp's grip but couldn't get free. Then it started to lower his teeth to Cas' neck. I managed to get loose from the vamps that were holding me back and retrieved my blade. I first killed the two that held me back as they were blocking my way but before I got to Castiel I heard an awful scream coming from him. Rage and fear took over me as I rushed to him. I cut the head off of that vamp and my friend fell to the ground, barely conscious.

"Cas!" I yelled, even though I was right there. You see, this is what I mean about this family curse. Now Castiel is gunna die because I liked him. I should have trusted my instincts and kept him safe. I knelt to the ground and picked him up. I ran out to the Impala and put Cas in the back seat. "Keep pressure on that," I instructed him with a shaky voice. I got in the driver's side and drove to the hospital.

**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~**

"Mr. Winchester?" A nurse called out while I was impatiently sitting in the waiting room. I bolted out of my chair to stand by her.

"Is he alright? Please tell me he's going to be okay." She looked at me sadly and I felt as if my legs were going to give out and I was going to be sick. "Oh, God," I whispered.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Winchester, but he lost too much blood and there isn't anything we could do right now. He only has about ten minutes left if you want to say any last words." I ran down the hall, not bothering to answer her, and looked for Castiel's room. When I finally found it I walked in and I felt a tear slip down my face. I pulled a chair up right beside his bed and sat down and took one of his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Cas," I whispered to him. There's got to be something I can do. Anything. But when Castiel opened his eyes to look at me I saw that there wasn't anything I can do; nothing to bring him back. Almost all of the blue was gone. With seeing this I stood up from the chair and sat down beside him on the bed and hugged him.

"Dean," Castiel replied quietly, "It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself." He leaned his head onto my shoulder as I held him.

"I can't lose you, Cas, not again, not ever," I said into his hair, tears coming down freely now.

"It's going to be okay, Dean. Can you promise me something?"

"Of course, Cas, anything."

"Stay strong, if not for yourself, then for me."

I didn't know how I was going to do it but I found myself nodding. "I promise, Cas." I turned my head to look at him and Cas placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Thanks you, Dean." And with that the line when flat.

* * *

**_Note: Each chapter is about a different song so each one will _****_not_****_ be based off another. Each one is completely different!_**

**_P.S._**

**_Got any songs you want me to make a Dean/Cas fic about? Just tell me in the comments! :D_**


	2. Stay

_If you believe that everything's alright_

_You won't be all alone tonight_

_And I'd be blessed by the light of you company_

_Slowly lifting me to somewhere new_

_Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well_

_Since the last time that we spoke, I said,_

_"Please understand that I've been drinking again, _

_And all I do is hope"_

"So get this," Sam said, capturing Dean's attention. "There's been a bunch of strange deaths going on in Pontiac Illinois for the past week." Dean took a long drink from his fifth beer that he had in less than an hour. He really wasn't in the mood to go on another hunt right now. They'd just got back from one not even three hours ago.

"Do they have anything in common with one another?" Dean asks his younger brother. By the look on Sam's face there is and it's obvious he doesn't like it.

"Yeah, says here that at every crime scene there's been a bunch of candy wrappers," Sam told him with a face saying he really didn't want to deal with this shit because great, fucking great, just what they need; a Trickster.

"Awesome," Dean mumbled sarcastically. "So, we leave first thing in the morning?"

"Seems like the best thing to do," Sam replied. Dean sighed, finished his beer, went to his bed, but not before grabbing another beer from the fridge, and flopped down. He wasn't really looking forward tomorrow since, even though they only dealt with them once, he hated Tricksters. "Dean, why have you been drinking a lot lately?" Sam asked, giving him a worried look.

"Just stressed is all, Sammy," the elder Winchester lies. Dean has less than a year before he goes to Hell for selling his soul and Sam doesn't know yet. Bobby's been trying to get him to tell his younger brother but Dean's not sure how since he knows Sam won't take it well. He only knows that he's the one who wants to break the news to his brother.

"Dean, stop lying to me, man. Just tell me what's going on."

"Maybe later," Dean said. Sam gave him his best puppy dog eyes but Dean refused to give in. "After this case in Pontiac, okay? Now get some rest." Sam sighed but complied, getting up from his spot at the table and making his way to his bed. Soon enough the taller brother fell asleep while Dean drank his beer. The blond didn't want to tell Sam about his deal since he knows that Sam will try to break it and if he does that then Sam will die and Dean can't have that. He finished the bottle and put it on the night stand and fell into a restless sleep.

***x*x***

After the eight hour drive to Pontiac, Dean and Sam were holding up their fake F.B.I. badges to the officers in front of the crime scene.

"More of you?" He asked suspiciously. "Two of you guys are already in there," the officer informed them, pointing to the scene behind him with his thumb.

"Right, uh, we're together," Sam tells him. "We just got stuck in traffic." The officer still looked suspicious but let them in anyway. Sam and Dean walked to the crime scene but stopped when they saw the two 'F.B.I. agents'. One of them they didn't know. He was taller, by a lot, than the other 'agent' but shorter than Dean. He has dark, messy hair and a tan trench coat. But the other guy, they knew him. In fact they thought he died months ago. Suddenly the short one turned around with a huge smirk on his face.

"Dean-o, Samsquatch! Glad you _finally _made it!" The dark haired man turned around and, _wow, _he had really blue eyes, Dean noticed. He also noticed that the blue eyed man looked at them like he knew them somehow. The two made their way to the brothers and stopped two feet in front of them. "I want you two to meet my brother here," he said, putting a hand on the taller man's shoulder.

"Wait, so another Trickster?" Dean said in disgust. "Fan-_fucking_-tastic."

"I am not a Trickster nor is Gabriel," the trench-coated man told them. Sam and Dean's eyes went wide in surprise to the man's voice. Dean had honestly expected a higher voice, not a deep and gravelly one.

"So what, instead of Tricksters we've got ourselves a magical candy junkie and a tax accountant?" Dean sarcastically asked. Dean saw the 'tax-accountant' smile at this while giving a small chuckle. "What's so funny to you?"

"Nothing, Dean. That's just what you said when we first met before," he said, blue eyes gleaming.

The tallest man turned to his brother. "Dean, you know him?"

"I have no idea who the fuck he is," Dean answers honestly.

"I'm Castiel," the blue eyed man- Castiel- interrupts.

"Well, Cas, I'm gunna call you Cas," he tells him, which makes him smile wider, "I have no idea who, or what for that matter, you are."

"Do you think Ruby would know?" Sam asked quietly. Dean, of course, wanted nothing to do with her, and judging from the looks of Cas and Gabriel, neither did they.

"You are not to trust her, Sam," Castiel says warningly.

"No, no, Cassie, let him bring her here so she can tell them what we are 'cause you know firsthand that they won't believe us for the life of them," Gabriel tells his brother. Castiel gave him a look and they just _looked_ at each other for a while as if they were telepathically communicating. After a couple seconds Cas nodded.

"Yes, I agree with Gabriel. I do know you won't believe us, especially Dean. Sam would have a less hard time believing but this is a better option."

"What aren't you telling us," Sam asked.

"Just summon the damn demon and you'll find out," Gabriel impatiently said.

"Um, okay but we can't just do this in public so we have to find somewhere to go," Sam said.

"There's a motel a block away," Castiel told them.

"Okay, so we'll go there, I guess."

"Great, now you two muttonheads go to the motel and Cassie and I will be there before you know it," Gabriel said with a wink. Sam and Dean just turned and headed to the Impala. When they got in Dean wished he had a beer.

"Dean, what do you think they're talking about?" Sam asked once Dean started to drive away. "Do you think we can trust them?" Dean sighed at him.

"I dunno, Sam. I do know that I feel like I can trust them more than Ruby since they also seemed like they hate her," Dean replied.

"Yeah, but Dean, Ruby is going against Hell to help us. Maybe those are some real powerful demons trying to kill her." Sam sounds worried for her and that made Dean mad because she's a _demon_, why would Sam care if she got killed or not. Dean turned on the radio and drove the last five minutes not talking to his brother.

When they got to the motel Dean was surprised that Cas and Gabriel were standing out in front. Well obviously neither of them are human, which he already suspected, since no human can travel that fast, not even Dean. He parked the car and got the summoning supplies out of the trunk.

"After we do this you two are telling us everything, got that?" Dean tells them.

"Of course, Dean. We'll answer all of your questions honestly," Castiel assures him. Dean nods and they all head into the motel. Sam gets them a room and when they get in they lock the door and set up for the summoning. Gabriel snaps his fingers and a giant Devil's Trap covers the floor.

"We don't need that for Ruby. She's not like the other demons," Sam assures them.

"Oh, trust me," Gabriel said. "When she sees us she'd want to run." Sam and Dean both visibly tensed.

"Dean, Sam, you do not need to worry. I'd never hurt you and I'd die before I let Gabriel hurt you," Castiel tells them. Neither of them answers and they finish the summoning and in less than ten seconds Ruby was in the room.

"What do you want n-" She stopped midsentence when she saw Gabriel and Castiel. She tries to smoke out but she can't. "W-what are they doing here?" She asks, obviously terrified.

"Who, and what, are they?" Dean asked.

"They're every demon's worst nightmare."

"Great, now what are they?" Dean asked again.

"T-they're angels," She replied quietly. "N-now let me go!"

"Angels?" Sam repeated with wide eyes. He turned to the two men by the door. "I thought Castiel was an angel name. So does that mean you're the archangel Gabriel?"

"Come on, Sam, you know there's no such thing as angel or Heaven or God," Dean snapped.

"Why else would Ruby be this terrified?" Sam retorts. "So _are_ you guys angels?" He asked.

"Point goes to Sammy!" Gabriel exclaimed. "Castiel here is the Angel of Thursdays while I, myself, am an archangel." Gabriel averted his gaze to the demon in the room. "You have every right to be afraid since this is you last day alive."

"Wait! You can't kill Ruby! She's been nothing but good to us," Sam pretty much begged. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Sam, she's a demon! Don't protect her and just let them get rid of that bitch." Ruby glared at Dean and walked by Sam, grabbed his gun out of his pocket and shot Dean in the stomach. Dean screamed loudly in pain.

"Dean!" Sam and Castiel yelled at the same time. While Sam ran to his brother, Dean saw Castiel go to Ruby, place a hand on her head and then saw a bright light and heard the demon scream. The light and screaming quickly ended and Castiel just popped up right in front of Dean. He placed a hand on his stomach and the bleeding stopped and Dean no longer felt pain.

"Uh, thanks, Cas," Dean said to Castiel. The dark haired man nodded and helped Dean up.

"So," Gabriel started, "I assume you guys have a few questions."

"Understatement," Dean muttered. "Okay, first question. Who the hell are you and what they hell do you want with us?"

"Dean," Sam snapped. "You don't talk to angels like that." Sam averted his gaze to the angels. "Sorry about Dean."

"It's fine, Sammy," Gabriel said. "He talks to every angel like that. Hell, he gave them all nicknames, right Cassie?"

"Yes. I was 'the nerd angel', Uriel was 'junkless', Raphael was 'teenage mutant ninja angel', I believe he had once called Zachariah 'ghost of Christmas screw you', Anna was 'Glenn Close' which I still do not understand-"

"Wait, what did this Anna do to make me call her Glenn Close?" Dean asked with amusement.

"She was going to go to the past to kill your parents so that you and Sam were never born," Castiel said bluntly.

"So what, she went terminator or something?" Dean asked. Castiel gave him an irritated look.

"You always make references that I don't understand." Dean rolled his eyes at the taller angel. "Anyways, to answer your earlier question I am Castiel, this is my older brother Gabriel. We want to save you, Dean."

"What do you mean, 'save Dean'? What's going to happen to him?" Sam asked worriedly. Gabriel looked over to Dean with an amused look.

"Big brother Winchester didn't tell Baby Winchester what's gunna happen in less than a year? Oh this is gunna be good."

"Dean, what didn't you tell me? What's going on?"

"Go on, Dean-o, tell him," Gabriel urged.

"Would you like some time alone to discuss this, Dean?" Castiel asked.

"Uh, yeah, that would be great, thanks," Dean said.

"Just pray to us when you are done." And with that they disappeared. Dean turned to his brother who looked mad and worried. Well this is not the way Dean wanted to tell him.

"Dean what's going on?" Sam asked.

"Look, you were dying and I had no other choice," Dean says hurriedly.

"Dean, what did you do? Tell me now," the younger Winchester demanded.

"I made a deal, alright."

"Dean, please tell me you didn't make a crossroads deal." Dean didn't answer. "Seriously Dean? And what, you only got a year?"

"Yes, Sam, but there's nothing you can do about it, alright. They said that if I try to get out of the deal then you die and I can't have that. So you won't try to get me out of it and neither will I, end of discussion." Sam tried to say something but Dean interrupted by saying, "Alright, Cas, we're done."

Only Castiel came back in the room this time. "Where's the short one?" Dean asked.

"He had to do a few things."

"You said you can save Dean, right?" Sam said, changing the subject.

"Yes, Sam," Castiel replied.

"But why?" Dean asked. "It's not like I was some church goer or anything. Hell, I always thought angels didn't exist till today. And I know there are other people that believed in God and all that crap that could be saved." Castiel sighed looking at Dean with soft eyes.

"This has always been your problem, Dean. You never think you deserve to be saved," Castiel said softly. "But you do, Dean. You've done a lot more good to the world than you think."

"You talk like you've known us for years," Sam said, taking the words from Dean's mouth.

"That's because I have," Castiel informed them. "I've come from the year 2013 and Gabriel came from 2009 to fix things. But I don't have long before other angels find out and most likely kill me and Gabriel."

"What's going on in 2009 that is bad enough for you to come back to this year and is kill worthy?" Dean suspiciously asked.

Castiel looked Dean straight in the eye and said, "The Judeo-Christian Apocalypse." Dean's eyes went wide.

"The apocalypse?" He asked in disbelief. "And where do I come into this?" Castiel broke their eye contact from this question.

"Because," Castiel said. Dean gives him a look to continue but he can see that Castiel is hesitating as if he doesn't want to say it. "Because 'the righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it'."

Dean stared in disbelief for a while until he understood something. "Are you saying that I caused the freakin apocalypse to start?" Dean rubbed his hands on his face and sat down on his bed. "Damn it!"

"If its, uh, any consolation, it's not only your fault that Lucifer started walking the Earth." Both Winchesters look up to Castiel, willing him to continue. Castiel refused to make eye contact with either of the brothers when he continued. "I guess you can say it was a 'group effort'. Dean broke the first seal."

"Which was…?"

"It is not of import," Castiel mutters.

"Really, 'cause it sounds like it's something bad and you refuse to tell me."

"Dean, please," Castiel tries.

"Damn it, Cas, just fucking tell me," Dean snaps, causing Castiel to flinch which made Dean feel bad a bit.

Castiel sighed but said, "So it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break." Dean felt all of his blood run cold.

"Are you saying that I _tortured_ souls in Hell?" Cas' lack of eye contact said it all.

"It wasn't your fault, Dean. You survived thirty years of being the one tortured in hell before breaking and if I could have only fought through quicker then it would have never happened." Castiel cleared his throat and continued. "Anyway, the rise of Lucifer was also mine and Sam's fault."

"How was it my fault?" Sam asked.

"You trusted Ruby over Dean, used your demonic powers, drank a lot of demon blood to become more powerful, then killed Lilith, which was the last seal." Dean looked over at Sam and saw that his face was now white.

"You trusted Ruby over your own brother? Really, Sam, a demon?" Dean asked irritably.

"Looks, that's not the point right now," Castiel cuts in. Dean looked him now.

"What about you? What did _you_ do?"

"You were teaching me about free will but when my superiors found out they brought me back to Heaven and tortured me. When I came back I was against free will and days later, when Sam was down in Bobby's panic room-"

"Bobby has a panic room?" Dean asked in disbelief. "Awesome."

"Anyway, when Sam was in the panic room I was under orders to let him out and when I did he went to Ruby and later killed Lilith."

"Okay, so Lucifer rose, what does that have to do with us now?" Dean asked.

"You are Michael's and Lucifer's vessels. Only you two can be it because you two come from Cain and Abel's blood line." Just then Gabriel popped in.

"Sam starring ad Lucifer, Dean starring as Michael. Your celebrity death match!"

"Wait, I'm _Lucifer_?" Sam asked with disbelief.

Gabriel sighed dramatically. "Seriously, I have to give this speech again? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father. And Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plans. You two were born for this. It's your destiny. It was always you. As it is in Heaven, so it must be on Earth."

"And you two are here to stop that?"

"Well there _is_ another way to stop it but since Cassie says Luci kills me we're going with option B: make sure Dean-o doesn't go to Hell."

"What's option A?" Dean asked.

"You get all of the Horsemen's rings which will open up a gate to Lucifer's cage. You'd have to get Sam to say 'yes' to Lucifer and Sammy will have to try to get control over him and jump."

"You mean Sam would be stuck in the pit with Lucifer?"

"And Michael," Castiel said.

"How would Michael end up there?"

"Sam pulled him down when he jumped."

"And you saw that happen?"

"No since I was dead but you told me when I came back," Castiel informs.

"You _died_?" Dean gawked.

"Well as of 2013 I've died three times but that's beside the point."

"Wait," Sam interrupted. "You came from 2013. Why wait till then to come and fix all of this crap?"

When Castiel didn't answer Gabriel looked at him. "What did you do, Castiel?" Castiel turned his gaze to his older brother.

"I've done a lot of bad things and I promised Dean that I'd make it up to him for hurting him, Sam, and many other people." It seemed as if Castiel forgot the Winchesters were in the room because he just continued. "He told me that he considered me family, his brother, but I still opened Purgatory and I claimed myself as the new God but not before destroying Sam's head in hopes that it would stop Dean, Bobby, and Sam from trying to stop me. I told him that we weren't family, but still he helped me get the souls back into Purgatory after I killed many angels and many humans. I nearly destroyed the world when the Leviathans got out. It's my fault Bobby Singer died and that Dean and I were sent to Purgatory after killing the head Leviathan. Still in spite of that Dean looked for me in Purgatory and even though I nearly killed him for the Angel Tablet he still prayed for me to come back. He knew it wasn't my fault, I was being controlled by Naomi, but that is still no excuse."

"What the hell, Castiel? Why did you even open Purgatory in the first place?" Gabriel yelled.

"Raphael was going to start the apocalypse again and after all that Dean and Sam sacrificed I couldn't let that happen so Crowley came and made a deal. He'll help me open Purgatory if he gets half the souls for Hell."

"You mean to say you made a deal with the fucking King of the Crossroad?!"

Castiel looked at his feet. "Technically it was the King of Hell…"

"That just makes it worse, Castiel!" Gabriel screamed. "And here I thought you were one of the few angels that didn't turn into a complete dick." Dean couldn't take this anymore.

"Both of you just shut the fuck up!" He snapped making them look at him. "Cas, obviously what you did were douche moves but Gabe, that doesn't give you the fucking right to blame him since he was trying to help!"

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions," Gabriel states.

"Well at least God or whoever though he was worthy enough to bring back, _three times_, whether it to clean up his mess or to be there for me and Sam 'cause what I got from Cas' story is that he was important to me," Dean retorted. "Now, Gabriel, I never liked you and I'm gunna take a guess that a guess that even in 2009 I didn't like you-"

"Well that's because I had the pleasure of killing you over one hundred times in Mystery Spot, which was supposed to be coming up soon, and then I trapped you in TV land," Gabriel said.

"You killed me over a hundred times?" Dean gawked. "That's it, I officially hate you," Dean said before grabbing his coat and keys.

"Where are you going, Dean?" Sam asked.

"Where do you think?" Dean said before walking out of the motel room and slamming the door behind him.

***x*x***

The bar was crowded when Dean got there. He was sitting at the bar already drinking his sixth beer when Castiel came and sat beside him. "Hiya, Cas," Dean greeted.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel replied. "What is troubling you, Dean?" Castiel asked with his head tilted in a way that Dean's semi drunk mind thought was kind of cute. "You usually drink a lot when there is something troubling you."

"All this crap about me going to Hell, starting the apocalypse, and the fact that angels are real," Dean tells him with a sigh. "So, you and me are pretty good friends in the future, huh?"

Castiel smiles at this. "Yeah, we are," he said before he frowned. "Well, we were. I've made so many mistakes, Dean. I don't know how you, or, uh, future you, will ever forgive me."

"Well you said that I considered you family, right? A brother?" Castiel nodded. "That's why. I can never stay mad at family for long." Dean thought for a bit. "Hey, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Since you and I are good friends in 2013, why risk changing that by coming here in the past?" Dean curiously asked.

"Like I said, I promised that I'd make it up to you somehow and even though I am very weak currently due to disobeying Heaven, this is the best thing I can do to make it up to you, even if it kills me." Dean chuckled a bit.

"Well that there proves you are a true Winchester; risking your life for others," Dean said with a smile. "But, Cas," he said, a frown forming on his face, "I kinda wish you wouldn't do that."

"Why not?" Castiel said in confusion.

"Well, if there's one thing you should know by now about me is how easily I feel guilty for things and if you die trying to make it up to me and we're as close as you say we are then I will feel an unbelievable amount of guilt."

"I see, but even so I cannot go back yet until I am a bit stronger. Time travel is very difficult, especially without much 'mojo' as you always said." Dean laughed a bit at that and Castiel smiled.

"Tell me some stories of things you and I did," Dean says, wondering what they had done.

Castiel gave a bright, beautiful smile before speaking. "Back in 2009 I asked you to help me trap and interrogate the archangel that killed me, Raphael, on where God is."

"You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel and you wanted to trap him? Isn't that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?" Dean asked.

"That's exactly what you said when I told you," Castiel said with a smile. "And yes, but it's a lot harder. Anyway, you were for sure going to survive this but I most likely was going to die so you asked what I was going to do on my last night on Earth-"

"I, uh, I asked that?" Dean questions, feeling his face heat up. Did he seriously give the 'Last Night on Earth' speech to Castiel?

"Yes and I told you that I was planning on just sitting there quietly. Then you asked me something about me if I've ever done any 'cloud seeding' in Heaven and I informed you that I had never got the chance and you told me that there are two things you knew for certain. First that two people by the names of 'Bert and Ernie' are gay and that you were not going to let me die a virgin." Dean groaned and put his face on the bar counter.

"Then what happened?"

"You took me to a brothel." Dean's head snapped back up.

"I took an angel to a brothel?" He asked with a grin. "Oh this story has to be good."

"Well when we got there I felt nervously uncomfortable since it's a den of iniquity but you told me that I 'full-on rebelled against Heaven' and that 'iniquity is one of the perks'. This young girl came to our table and said that she calls herself Chastity which is, of course, extremely ironic. You had me go with her to one of the back rooms and not long after she screamed and you came rushing back."

"Dude, what the hell did you do?" Dean asked amusedly.

"I just looked her in the eye and told her it wasn't her fault her father Gene ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office. You then informed me that the whole place runs on absent fathers and soon the security guards came back and you and I went out the back and I was confused on why you were laughing and you said that it was the most fun you had in years.

"After we trapped Raphael in the ring of holy fire, he said that God id dean and asked me if it ever occurred to me that Lucifer brought me back since he needed all of the 'rebellious angels'. You asked him is God worked at the Post Office since he just ran away and disappeared. We later left Raphael in the holy fire and left. You told me that there were times that all logic said your father was dead and that if I believe God is still out there then not to give up looking for him."

"Hm, well I say we get some pie and you tell me more stories. What's your favorite pie?" dean asked as he paid for his beer and started to leave the bar with Castiel.

"I, uh, never had pie before," Castiel says sheepishly.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Dean gawked. "You were friends with me for years and I never got you to try pie?"

"Which do you recommend?"

"No, no, no, you never had pie so we can't just get one pie. We're going to get five pies: apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and key lime," Dean told him with a huge smile. "This just made a bad day great." Dean led them to the Impala and got in.

"It's been a while since I was in the Impala," Castiel informs Dean. "I missed it. It's also weird seeing you and Sam constantly in motels and not in 'the Bat Cave' as you called it."

"You mean we had a secret base?" Dean asked.

"Yes, the Men of Letters Headquarters. You and your brother are legacies, so I've heard. Your dad was supposed to be too but Henry, your grandfather, died before passing it on."

"I thought my dad's dad ran out on him," Dean said.

"No, a Knight of Hell killed him and many others."

"So where _is_ this Bat Cave anyway?"

"Lebanon, Kansas," Castiel replies.

"We should go there first thing tomorrow," Dean suggests.

"As much as I would like to go I don't think we can. It is to my understanding that to get in we would need a key and as of right now a former Men of Letter has it in his possession and I wasn't there when you retrieved it and you never told me who that person was," Castiel told him.

"Maybe dad had something in his journal."

"Maybe."

***x*x***

"Okay, Cas," Dean said after he took all of the pies out of the grocery bag. They were at a motel room, a different one than the one from earlier, getting ready for Castiel to have his first pies. "The first one you're going to have is apple." Dean cut two slices and placed one in front of his friend and the other in front of himself.

Castiel hesitantly raised the forkful of apple pie to his mouth before taking the bit. When he did he gave a small appreciative moan. "I take it that you like it?" Dean asked with a grin.

"Mm, yes, very much so," Cas replied. They both finished their pies, giving the occasional moan. When they both finished their slice, Dean put the apple pie away and took out another.

"Next you are going to have cherry." They went through all of the pies and Castiel, judging by all the appreciative moans, loved them all. "So, Cas, which is your favorite out of these five?" Dean asked his friend.

"I like apple a bit more than the others," Castiel said, making Dean smile.

"Apple's my favorite too." Dean got up and grabbed his father's journal and went back to the table. He cut them both another slice of apple pie and they began to eat. "Hm, says here that Larry Ganem survived Abaddon. You think that this could be our man?" Dean asks with a mouth full of pie.

"It's possible; does it say where he lives?"

"Uh." Dean scanned the page quickly before he found it. "Here we are, Lebanon, Kansas."

"I believe that he may be 'our man'." Castiel said using air quotes. Dean chuckled.

"Okay, so how about we get some shut eye and leave first thing in the morning, alright?"

"I do not require sleep, Dean," Castiel tells him.

"Well find something to do then for the next eight hours, then, 'cause I am human and I need sleep."

"I will wake you up in eight hours then," Castiel says.

"Great."

"Dean, what about Sam? Are we bringing him with tomorrow?" Castiel asked.

"I dunno, probably not. Sam's a big boy; he can take care of himself. Well, I'm gunna sleep now, night, Cas.

"Good night, Dean. Sleep well." For the first night in a long time Dean had a restful sleep.

***x*x***

Eight hours of sleep, five pie breaks, and three pit stops later, Dean and Castiel finally make it to Lebanon Kansas at the house of Larry Ganem. Larry's wife answered the door and let them in to speak to Larry.

"Uh, Larry, I'm Dean Winchester, Henry's grandson and this is, uh, Castiel Winchester," Dean tells him.

"Castiel Winchester?" Larry asks. "I thought Henry's other grandchild was Samuel."

"Sam is my brother but Cas is family too. Maybe not by blood but as my surrogate father always said 'there's more to family than blood'," Dean informs the elder man. Larry chuckles a bit.

"I guess you're right, Dean. So what brings you here today?" He asked.

"What happened to the Men of Letters?" Castiel asks.

Larry tells the story of what the Men of Letters were and how Abaddon made him blind. He also said how he gave Henry the box that contains the key to the bunker after he went blind telling him to not let Abaddon get it.

"So my grandfather has the key to the bunker then?" Dean asked.

"Yes, but neither he nor Abaddon were there after everything was destroyed. I assumed he did a blood sigil to get to the future to see his son, your father."

"Well he didn't see my dad seeing as he died," Dean coolly states.

"You're of Henry's blood so there's a chance he comes to you instead. Spells always were a bit of a weakness for him."

"Okay, well thanks for everything, Larry, but Castiel and I have to get going," Dean said while getting up from his spot.

"Goodbye Dean and Castiel." They left the house and went back to the car.

"So now what since we don't have the key?" Dean asked.

"I could always try to go back to 2013 and bring the key back here," Castiel suggests.

"No, Cas, it's too dangerous for you right now. Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky and Henry will just pop up."

"But also realize that if Henry does come then so does Abaddon," Castiel reminded.

"Well you're an angel, can't you kill her?" Dean asked.

"Knights of Hell can only be killed by a special blade, the first blade. Without that blade you can't kill Abaddon. Besides, we have more pressing matters, like saving you from going to Hell."

Dean sighed. "Right, so you can make it up to me or something."

"Not only that, Dean, but also because I don't want _you_ to have to experience Hell. I think I may know who can help us, though," Castiel told him. "Do you, uh, mind if I just 'zap' us there? It is a lot quicker than taking a car."

"Uh, yeah, sure, go ahead." The next thing Dean knew was they were standing in front of a giant mansion house. "Okay, so let's go in," Dean said walking to the gate.

"I can't go in; there is angel proofing but say that I have a deal," Castiel told him. Dean walked to the gate and pressed the speaker button.

"Uh, hi, this is Dean and my friend Castiel here has a deal he wants to make with uh, -What's his name?" He asked Cas.

"Crowley," he replied.

"With Crowley," Dean said before remembering something and taking his hand off of the button as if it burned him. "Crowley? Didn't you say you made a deal with him before and it turned out disastrous?" Dean asked.

"Yes but I believe Crowley can help." Dean turned back to the speaker and pressed the button.

"Look, Crowley, I'll make sure Cas won't do anything. Now get your demonic King of the Crossroads ass out here." After a few seconds a short man- who is still taller that Gabriel- popped up beside Dean.

"Dean Winchester and an angel- falling angel- from the future, to what could I do the pleasure?" Crowley said in a British accent. "Tell me, Castiel, was it Dean who got you to fall? Because the way I hear it a rebellious angel from 2013 came here."

"Crowley, enough! I need you to change Dean's contract. He is not to go to Hell and his brother stays alive," Castiel said.

"What makes you think I can do that?"

"You can."

You right but why would I. What do I get out of it?"

"Lucifer won't rise and you won't have to worry about him killing you," Castiel states. "It's to my understanding that you believe that after Lucifer kills the humans he'll kill the demons."

"True but it's obvious that you succeeded and getting rid of Lucifer and since he's gone, Azazel's gone, and Lilith would also be gone that would make me King of Hell and why would I give that up for one bloody soul? That would be foolish! Can't you just let destiny be destiny? Oh wait, you can't since this bloody Winchester made you all about free will. No deal. Now get off my property." And with a snap of his fingers Crowley was gone.

"Well that didn't work; any other bright ideas?" Dean asked.

"Just one," Castiel said as he placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and flew them to a house he hasn't been to in a while; Chuck Shurley's house.

***x*x***

After Castiel tried to explain that Chuck is a prophet of the Lord, Dean and Chuck, of course, didn't believe him.

"I'm a God. A cruel, cruel, capricious God," Chuck said for the third time with wide eyes.

"No, you are a prophet," Castiel impatiently replied.

"Look, Chuck," Dean said, "I don't believe it as much as you do but I'm sure Cas knows what he's talking about." Castiel gave him an appreciative look and Chuck sighed.

"O-okay, but I wrote up to where you went to Hell and nowhere in there did Castiel come in."

"That's the point," Castiel says, "I'm trying to save Dean from going to Hell. Is there any way to do that?"

"Um, well in what I've written it says to kill the one who holds the contract which is Lilith," Chuck hurriedly tells them while going through a stack of papers. "Uh, Ruby should know where she is." Castiel and Dean share the same look.

"Ruby is, uh, dead," Dean tells him. "Any plan B?"

"What? No, no, no. Ruby can't be dead. I had this plan for the next books and she's one of the main parts," Chuck says. "This must be why my dreams are getting mixed up and why I've been rewriting some of the books." He went to a different stack of papers.

"What was the last thing you wrote?" Castiel asked.

"I, uh, I wrote myself into the books. That's like M-Night Level douchiness."

"This is important, Chuck!" Castiel snaps. "Dean can't go to Hell!"

"You're an angel; can't you just fight off the hell hounds when they come?"

"I am an angel, yes, but I'm falling," Castiel said in a small voice. "I don't have much strength left, especially since this isn't my correct time, and I wouldn't be able to hold them all back." Dean felt a little guilty that Castiel is getting weaker because of him.

"Cas, it's fine," Dean told him. "I can't have you dying for me. You saved my sorry ass from Hell before; I believe you'll be able to do it again."

"But, Dean-" Castiel started but Dean put a hand up to stop him.

"If you're worried about the first seal then don't. I won't break, not this time." Dean felt like he was trying to convince himself rather than Castiel because now he knows the risks. "So stay for a week or two to get some strength back. Eat some burgers and pie." Dean is conflicted whether he wants Castiel to go or not. He wants him to leave so that he doesn't have the chance of dying because of him but then again he doesn't want him to leave because Castiel is now Dean's friend. His closest friend he ever had and he's only known him for a day. Since when did Dean Winchester let people get close to him and him close to them? Dean was jolted out of his thoughts when his phone began to ring loudly.

"Uh, thanks for trying to help, Chuck. Call me if you find anything else out," Dean told him as he went outside to answer his phone. "Hello?"

_"Dean, where the hell are you?"_ Sam asked.

"I don't know. Cas and I were just talking to some author. Dude, this guy, Chuck Shurley, also known as Carver Edlund, wrote about our lives. Like, word for word, dude. It's so weird."

_"Dean, I don't care. Why are you even there in the first place?"_

"Well Cas seems really set on saving my damn soul from going to the pit so he's been asking around. First was Crowley, the King of the Crossroads, then he took me to Chuck's house, who turns out to be a prophet."

_"I thought you said you weren't going to let anyone try to get you out of the deal. You wouldn't let me but then Castiel tries and you're all for it?"_

"I'm not 'all for it', Sam. I'm still going to Hell. There's nothing that we can do about it but I'm not scared anymore. Cas was able to save me once before, I believe he can do it again."

_"Since when do you trust so easily, Dean? You've only known him for a day. How do you know we can trust him? You heard all of the awful things he did."_

"I know I heard them but there's something about him," Dean said as he looked back towards Chuck house to see his friend and the prophet talking inside. "I don't know what it is but there's this _thing_ or quality about him that makes me feel like I can trust him. And you know what? I'm fine with that. It feels good to actually have a friend." Dean was surprised with how touchy-feely he was being and obviously Sam was too, judging by his reply.

_"Dean, how much did you have to drink today?"_

Dean gave a small laugh. "You know, Sammy, as surprising as it is, I didn't drink a single thing with alcohol today. And I can't believe I'm gunna be saying this but go back to college, Sam. Get married, have two point five kids and a dog and a house with a white picket fence; an apple pie life. Go back to that Sarah Blake from that one case in New York. Just make sure you call, got that?"

_"Dean, did something happen to you? Why are you saying any of this? What happened to not being able to leave the life?"_

"Look, Sam, I just want you to have a happy life and a normal life is what you've always wanted."

_"Yeah, alright, Dean, I'll call you later."_

"Talk to you later, Sam." Dean hung up the phone and heard footsteps behind him.

"That was a kind thing you did for your brother," Castiel said when he got next to Dean.

"Yeah, I just hope I don't regret it later." Dean sighed but then smiled. "Hey, can you take me to Bobby's? I wanna see that panic room you were talking about." Castiel smiled at Dean and placed a hand on his shoulder and the next thing Dean knew he was standing in Bobby's living room in front of his desk. Bobby jumped up out of surprise.

"Who the hell are you and how did you get in here?" Bobby asked, pointing a gun at Castiel.

"Woah, Bobby, calm down. This is a friend of mine. Bobby, meet Castiel, and, uh, Cas you already know Bobby," Dean said.

"What do you mean he already know me?" Bobby asked, still pointing a gun at the angel.

"Okay, this is gunna sound a little weird," Dean paused. "Okay, a lot weird but hear me out. Cas is from the year 2013 and came back to now to try to save my soul from the pit since me going down there started a huge spiral of crap, starting with the sixty-six seals. Anyway, long story short, there's still nothing we can do but he's gunna save me, again, but before I screw up the world."

Finally Bobby out his gun down. "I'm sure you two idjits didn't just come here for introductions so why are you here?"

"Dean wanted to see your panic room," Castiel answers.

"How the hell does he, or you for that matter, know about that?"

"I told him. As for me, I've seen it many times. Dean, Sam, and you were my friends."

"And why did we need to use it exactly?"

"Many occasions we had to use it when Sam was full of Demon blood. Also-"

"What do you mean 'when Sam was full of demon blood'?" Bobby interrupted.

"Turns out Sammy trusted Ruby more than me when I went to Hell and decided to use his demonic powers he got from yellow Eyes and he wanted to be even more powerful and to do that he had to drink demon blood," Dean answers bitterly.

"Anyways," Castiel continued, "We also had to use it to lock Dean up when he was going to give up and end nearly half the world," he said coldly.

"What the hell was I gunna do?" Dean asked.

"You were going to say 'yes' to Michael, since angels need their vessel's consent, and then have Michael and Lucifer fight. We were able to stop you but the angels ended up taking Adam, your half-brother-"

"I have a half-brother?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Castiel said, slightly irritated from being interrupted again. "As I was saying, they took Adam as a bribe to get you to say yes which ended up having me do a suicide mission to rid the angels guarding the place since I'd rather have died than to see you give up. From what I was told, you were about to say 'yes' but you didn't but that didn't save Adam as he was stuck there and said 'yes' to Michael."

"What happened to you?"

"I ended up on a boat, completely human."

"Okay, well I guess that's proof enough," Bobby reluctantly said. "Come on." Bobby took them downstairs and opened the door to the panic room. Dean, of course, was impressed. "So," Bobby said after explaining everything about the room. "How long is your buddy staying? I assume he has to get back to his own page on the calendar sometime soon."

"Yes. I'm going to be resting for a week about. It would typically only be a day or two but with me practically being fallen it would take significantly longer," the angel answers.

"_Falling?_" Bobby repeats. "What the hell did you do?"

"I've done… a lot. Majority of the angels seem to dislike the Winchesters, as do many other nonhuman beings do, but many angels seem to have this hate for Sam and Dean since they stopped the apocalypse. I had helped them stop it, as I mentioned earlier. There's also the fact that I worked with Crowley, the King of the Crossroads, who, then, was the King of Hell, to open Purgatory." Castiel was quiet at the end of his sentence.

"Purgatory?" Bobby asked. "I'm gunna need a beer." They went back upstairs and Castiel and Dean stayed in the living room as Bobby went to the kitchen. He soon came back out with two beers in his hand and attempted to hand one to Dean.

"No thanks, Bobby, I'm good," Dean told him.

"You, Dean Winchester, are turning down a beer? Who are you and what have you done with Dean?"

"This is Dean," Castiel said, obviously confused.

"I meant, since when does Dean turn down a beer?" Bobby rephrased.

"I don't know. I haven't been wanting to drink since last night when Cas came to the bar I was at," Dean told him.

"Huh," Bobby hummed before taking a drink of his beer. "Okay, so Purgatory you say?"

***x*x***

After Castiel explained everything, Bobby sent Dean outside to check on a car so he could talk to Castiel. After Dean got outside the older man turned to the angel.

"You want to speak with me," Castiel stated more than questioned.

"Yeah, I wanna tell you thanks," Bobby said.

"What for?" Castiel said, his brows knitting in confusion.

"You're helping Dean. I don't know how but you made him happier than I've seen him in a long while and you've only known him for a day. I don't know how you did it but thanks. And you also got him to stop drinking even after Sam has tried for months."

"I didn't get him to stop, he just stopped. As for him trusting me and becoming happier, I don't know how I did it. Before it had took weeks before he started to trust me. Then again that was before I knew all Dean and Sam and even you had taught me," Castiel told him honestly. Castiel looked outside where Dean was working on the car. "It's nice to see him happy. In 2013 he's hardly ever happy with everyone he cares about either sick or dead. To see him smile is such a wonderful thing." Bobby watched Castiel and saw pure adoration in his eyes.

"So, how long has it been?" Bobby asked the angel.

"How long has what been?"

"How long have you loved that boy?" Bobby questioned. He saw a tint of pink on Castiel's ears spreading to his cheeks and then the angel looked away from the window.

"You are able to tell?"

"I can see it in those doe eyes of yours when you're lookin' at him," Bobby said with a shrug. "Just give the boy time. Hell, at this rate he'll be head over heels for you in a week tops. You do something to that idjit. I've never seen that boy trust no one as quickly as he did to you. I know you're leavin' in a week or two but when you do leave, find some way to contact him or I'm sure he'll go on a drinking binge."

"I can try but I'm not sure it will work," Castiel told him.

"How far are you goin' back to 2013?"

"I'm only going to next year, when Dean goes to Hell. I'm going to try to save him right away."

"But didn't you say you're weak and falling and crap? Wouldn't you just end up dyin'?" Bobby questioned.

"Most likely but I have to try. If I don't go right away then the other angels will let Dean be stuck there for four months, which is forty years in Hell."

Bobby sighed. "Alright, well then just be careful. That boy doesn't need to lose more people in his life."

"Take care, Bobby," Castiel told him.

"You too, ya idjit," Bobby replied.

***x*x***

The days go by quickly and Dean hasn't drunk one beer during his time with Castiel. He never felt the need to. It was like all of his stress and worries just disappeared. Dean feels like he has grown attached to his angel. That's another thing, lately he's been referring to Castiel as _his _angel. Things come crashing in when Castiel told him it was time for him to leave. Dean didn't want Castiel to leave though, he told him that and Castiel frowned.

"I don't wish to leave either, Dean," he told him. "This was the best, and least stressful, week I've had in a while. But nonetheless I must go. I'll see you in seven months," Castiel told Dean but before he was able to leave Dean wrapped his arms around him and gave him a tight hug.

"Be safe, Cas," Dean whispered in his ear. Castiel tentatively wrapped his arms around Dean's back and rested his head on Dean's shoulder and Dean smiled.

"You too, Dean; try not to drink too much," Castiel told him when they broke apart.

"I'll try, Cas."

"Goodbye for now, Dean."

"See ya later, Cas."

***x*x***

**_~Five Months Left~_**

It's been two months since Dean's seen Cas, and Sam for that matter. Two months since Dean got drunk. There's five months until hell hounds come to take him to hell. Five months until Castiel saves Dean, if things go right, that is.

Dean sighed and pulled out his phone to call his brother. It rang four times until there was an answer.

_"Hey, Dean."_

"Hiya, Sammy. How's the normal life going for you?"

_"It's been great. How about you? How've you been?"_

"I've had better days but at least I haven't been drinking until I was drunk."

_"That's great, Dean! Hey, why don't you come up here next month for dinner with me and Sarah?"_

"Sure, Sam, see ya then." _Click._

***x*x***

**_~Four Months Left~_**

Dean knocked on the front door of Sam and Sarah's place in New York. The door opened and Dean was greeted by a very happy Sam. It's a nice place, to be honest, but Dean can't see himself living in a place ever.

"Hey, Dean, it's great to see you," Sam said as he pulled him into a hug.

"It's nice to see you too, man," Dean said. He's glad his little brother is happy and if Dean was being honest with himself he's glad one of them are. Dean's lately been getting worried about going to Hell in four months. He's been trying to keep his promise to Castiel and not drink but as his amount of time till Hell shrinks he starts to want to drink. A lot. He's not sure if he's going to be able to last four more months without drinking until he forgets even his name but he'll try.

***x*x***

**_~One Months Left~_**

He can't do it anymore. He wants, _needs,_ to get drunk. He tried so damn hard not to but he just can't take it anymore. There's one month to live and he's not even sure if Cas survived the trip back to the future to save him. Drinking is all he could do to take his mind off of Castiel and of going to Hell. He used to hunt to take his mind off of it but it's not really the same without a partner by his side. So Dean goes to the nearest liquor store and buys a lot of vodka and whiskey then goes back to the motel room to drink.

***x*x***

It's been two days since Dean started drinking and he hasn't stopped unless he passed out or barfed but then he went right back at it. His phone's been ringing a lot but he's been too drunk to care about seeing who it is, let alone answering it. He's sure it's just Bobby or Sam checking up on him so he lets it slide.

Dean then does something that he hasn't done in a long while. He prays to Castiel.

"Cas, I-I-I'm not-not sure if-if you can," –hiccup- "hear me, but I'm sorry. I-I tried so fuckin' hard but couldn't d-do it anymore. I'm drinkin' a-again," Dean slurs before passing out again.

***x*x***

Bobby tried calling Dean for the past two days and he never answered so he knew something was up and he decided to call Sam.

_"Hey, Bobby, what's up?"_

"You wouldn't happen to know where you brother is, would you?"

_"No, I haven't seen him in two months and he hasn't called in a while. You think something's wrong?"_

"He hasn't been answerin' his phone for the past two days and I'm startin' to worry about that idjit. It's not like him to do this."

_"I'll track his GPS, give me a minute."_ Bobby was only able to hear the sound of typing on the computer. _"Huh, so he's in a motel in Pontiac."_

"Why the hell is that boy in Pontiac?"

_"Well he was close to that one angel, uh, Castiel, and Pontiac is where we first met him."_

"So what, the boy turned into a love sick puppy?"

_"I don't know, Bobby, but Dean did care about Castiel despite knowing him for only a week and he hasn't seen, let alone heard from the guy in months. Also, it's… It's his last month, Bobby."_

"Okay, well I'm gunna go to Pontiac and find your brother. You take care, ya hear?"

_"You too." Click._

***x*x***

When Bobby finally got to Dean's motel room he instantly smelt liquor. Bobby decided to try to knock first so he did. No answer. He knocked again. There was still no answer.

"Dean, open up or I'll break the damn door down." Still no answer came to the door. Bobby, true to his word, kicked the door open and saw Dean passed out on the floor by the bed with empty bottles of vodka and whiskey around him. Bobby sighed and walked over to Dean. "Damn it, boy," he muttered under his breath. Bobby lifted Dean and put him on the bed and went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. He returned to Dean and splashed the water in Dean's face, causing him to jump out of his sleep.

"You alright there, boy?" Bobby asked.

"Bobby?" Dean said in disbelief. "What are you doing here?" Dean rubbed his head and Bobby would bet all his money that he has an awful head ache.

"What are you doing drinking all of this?" Bobby asked, ignoring Dean's question. "You went what? Six months without drinking and now you start up again, worse than you've ever been?"

"I've only got a month to live, I'm stressed out. You don't know what it's like to have the clock ticking down until the very last minute, knowing when exactly you're gunna die and go to Hell."

"You're right and nor do I ever want to. But Castiel is gunna save your ass before you hardly know what Hell is like, so stop your worrying."

"We don't even know if he's alive, Bobby. For all I know he could be dead and it would be because he was trying to make it up to me, well future me, for whatever crap he did."

"I'm sure he's fine. He's seems like a tough one to beat down, judging by what he told me. He is and will be fine. Now get up and take a shower. You reek."

***x*x***

**_~Two Minutes Left~_**

Dean's scared, no, scratch that, he's terrified. Being ripped to shreds by evil, invisible dogs doesn't sound too fun, let alone being stuck in Hell for who knows how long until Castiel, if he's even still alive, will be his knight in shining armor and save his sorry ass.

One minute remains and Dean can hear the howling come closer and closer.

Ten seconds left and the terrifying growls and barks are just outside the door.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

The doors burst open and Dean feels a pain like he has never felt before. He's screaming so loud his throat starts to hurt. He knows it probably took less than ten seconds for the hounds to kill him but it feels as if it's going on forever.

The next thing he knows he's in Hell.

***x*x***

Castiel forgot how hard it was to fight his way through Hell to get to Dean. Castiel isn't quite sure _how_ it happened but when he started to go down to Hell to save Dean he felt more powerful, as if God was giving him extra strength to help find the one he loves.

It's already been about four years in Hell but he knows he's getting closer. He can sense Dean's bright soul as he fights his way through. He won't let Dean down; not this time, not ever again so Castiel kills any demon that gets in his way. It's difficult, _extremely_ difficult, but that won't stop him. At his rate right now He'll be able to save Dean before the five year mark comes.

***x*x***

Dean is in so much pain. What he's feeling right now make the hell hounds feel like a nick with a razor when shaving. This is much worse, so much worse. It's been almost five years since he's been here and he's starting to lose hope that Castiel is coming. He knows he shouldn't since it took hundreds of angels to get to him within thirty or forty years, as Castiel had said. He's still not even sure if Castiel is alive or not.

Still, Dean refuses to accept Alastair's deal. Dean refuses to break. He already broke one promise to Cas, the least he could do is keep this one, not only for him or his angel but also for the whole world.

***x*x***

Castiel can _feel_ it. He can feel the closeness of Dean's soul.

***x*x***

A knife was tearing into Dean when it happened. A beautiful bright light came through and Dean was able to see that it was an angel; it was _Cas. _Dean's not sure how he knew it was him but he knew.

"Cas!" He called out, voice hoarse from screaming in pain.

Dean knew it wasn't English but he distinctively heard his long lost angel say, "Dean Winchester, I'm here." The next thing Dean knew he was being pulled up with the angel gripping his left shoulder.

***x*x***

Dean was in a box- a coffin to be exact. He had to claw himself out and once he was out he took a deep breath of air. He started to walk in one direction and saw a gas station that looks like it hasn't gotten and business in a while. He broke the glass of the door and unlocked in and let himself in. He went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water before getting a bag and filling it with stuff from the store.

He went by the mirror and lifted his shirt. Not a damn scratch was there. The only thing that wasn't there before was this hand print burned into his left shoulder. It must've been Castiel. Speaking of Castiel, Dean started to wonder where the hell he was.

"Hey, uh, Cas?" Dean prayed, voice hoarse not from screaming but from the lack of water. "I'm up and kickin' thanks to you." Dean smiled to himself for a bit. "If you, uh, copy I'm in a gas station in…" Dean looked around to find something that could say where he was. "Pontiac," Dean said while turning around to face the door again. He waited a few minutes and nothing happened. Castiel never came. So Dean decided to grab some change from the register and use the payphone he saw out front to call Bobby and Sam.

He decided to call Sam first since Sam was bound to be worried.

_"Hello?"_

"Hiya, Sammy."

_"Dean?! You're alive? Castiel saved you?"_

"Yeah, he did. I just called to tell you I'm alright now. I'm gunna call Bobby quick and head over to his house, okay?"

_"Yeah, okay. I'll come to visit in a few days. See you soon, Dean."_

"See ya, Sammy," _Click._

Dean put more coins into the payphone and dialed in Bobby's number.

_"Dean?"_

"Yeah, how'd ya know?"

_"Your angel just dropped in front of my house. He's alive but unconscious."_

"Cas is there?! I'm driving there right away. I'll see you in a couple hours." Dean hung up before Bobby had a chance to reply. He _had _to get to Castiel right away. Luckily for Dean there was an abandoned car in front of the gas stationed so he hot-wired it and drove to Bobby's.

***x*x***

It took Dean half the time it would take a typical driver to get to Sioux Falls from Pontiac since he sped the whole way without stopping. When he got there he jumped out of the car as if it had burned him and ran into the house.

"Where is he?" Dean asked as he got inside.

"Damn it, boy, quiet down," Bobby said from the living room. Dean rushed over to that room and stood in the middle of it. When he got there strong arms wrapped around him from behind but they weren't Bobby's since he was at his desk with a grin, so that must mean…

"Cas?" He croaked out.

"Hello, Dean." The voice was just the same as it had always been and Dean definitely did _not_ cry a bit. Okay, so maybe he did but he seriously thought Castiel was dying or even dead. Dean turned around in Cas' arms so he could hug him back.

"I'm gunna give you two some time to yourselves," Bobby said as he exited the room then the house.

"But I thought- Bobby said-"

"I was unconscious and I did fall in front of his house. I woke up, though, about fifteen minute before you got here." Dean hugged him tighter and rested his head on Castiel's shoulder.

"I've missed you so much, Cas." Dean whispered into his ear. "Hey, Cas?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" Castiel asked, still holding on tightly to Dean.

"Before you left you asked me not to drink too much. I tried so damn hard but a month before I died I drank. I drank so fucking much."

"It's okay, Dean. I asked you to _try_ not to drink too much, and you tried. It's okay."

"Cas? Can I ask a favor of you?" Dean asked, pulling his face back so he can look in Castiel's deep blue eyes.

"Of course, anything, Dean."

"Please stay?" Castiel smiled at Dean, a bright, beautiful smile.

"I have already made that decision once I got us out of Hell. I gave up my grace and I am human now."

"You… did that for me?"

Castiel's cheeks started to turn a bit pink but he still kept eye contact as he said, "Well, not just for you but for me too. I want to stay here, on Earth, with you." Dean felt a flutter of warmth when Castiel said that and since he could seem to get his voice to work he pressed their lips together making Castiel grunt in surprise.

Castiel moved one of his arms to be wrapped around Dean's neck while he put his other hand into Dean's hair. Dean's hands were on Castiel's shoulder blades trying to pull them closer together. After a while, when they needed air, they rested their foreheads together, both with huge smiles on their faces.

***x*x***

* * *

_**Have any songs that I may be able to write about? Write them in the comment area thingie c:**_


	3. Nothing's Forever

_So baby if we're going down_

_I don't wanna remember_

_That I was there to watch us fall_

_And learn that nothing's forever_

_And now your secrets have come out_

_You justified my doubts _

_I gave you my trust_

_Put all my faith in us_

* * *

I don't know what to do or what to think anymore. Bobby and Sam think that Castiel is in cahoots with Crowley and honestly, I'm starting to think so too. I don't want to, not at all, I mean Cas has literally _died_ for us, well more for me, two times now to help save to world, so why would he suddenly try to _end_ it by opening Purgatory. It just makes no sense.

But then again, Castiel has been a little off and secretive lately and it makes me wonder; _is_ Sam and Bobby right? Is he working with Crowley? I shook my head to try to rid those thoughts. Cas at least deserves the benefit of the doubt.

"Hello, Dean." Huh, speak of the Devil. "Are you alright?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine. How are you?" I asked, trying not to seem suspicious.

"Just wanted to check in," he replied.

"So, any word on, uh, Satan Jr. being alive?"

"I'm… looking, believe me. I just don't understand how Crowley could have tricked me," Castiel said. _That makes quite a few of us,_ I thought.

"Well, he's a tricky son of a bitch, that's how," I told him. I might have been also trying to convince myself too, I'm not sure. Our conversation didn't last much longer after that.

* * *

About two hours later I finally make it back to Bobby's. He and Sam were 'interrogating' a demon for info on the King of Hell. I nodded at Sam and walked to the kitchen with Sam following me.

"So, what'd you tell him?" He asked once he got into the kitchen.

"Nothing," I replied to my brother. "Just relax." Just as I finished the sentence Bobby walked in.

"What's the hubbub?" The old man questioned.

"I saw Cas," I told him. "He popped in on me about two hours back."

"What'd you tell him?"

"Nothing, all right!" I snapped slightly annoyed at the two of them. "Told him that we were on some crap monster hunt. He doesn't know that we're getting close to Crowley." All of this, lying and hiding things from Cas makes something in my stomach twist. It's not right. Cas wouldn't betray us like that, would he? I decided to voice my thoughts after a couple seconds. "You know, he's our friend… And we're lying to him through our teeth."

"Dean-" Sam tried to say.

"So he burned the wrong bones. So Crowley tricked him."

"He's an angel," Bobby pointed out.

"He is the Balki Bartokomous of Heaven!" I snapped. "He can make a mistake!"

Bobby held his hands up in defense. "Nobody's saying nothing yet."

I shook my head. "You think Cas is in it with Crowley. Crowley?" I whispered in a harsh tone.

Bobby sighed. "Look, I'm just saying that I don't know. Now, look, I hate myself for even thinking it. But I don't know."

Sam sighed now. "Look, Dean, he's our friend, too, okay?" _This isn't how friends act, Sam, _I thought. "And I'd die for him. I would but… Look, I'm praying we're wrong here."

"But if we ain't…" Bobby started. "If there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here… that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side. Which means we've got to be cautious, we've got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite." Bobby and Sam went back to the demon and I just stood there for a while.

Cas is one of the few people I have faith in and trust with my life, the other people being Sam and Bobby, and if they are right, if Cas is working with Crowley, then I don't know what I'd do. I care about Cas a lot, in a different way than I do with Sam, and I realize that those certain feelings are doing no favors during this time of doubt. It's so hard to try to be loyal to someone I know, or at least I _think _I know, even though a lot of the evidence is pointing to guilty.

* * *

Ellsworth's house was empty when we got there. We searched around and found nothing.

"The place is clean," Sam called out.

"Yeah, but it's… it's like 'Mr. Clean' clean, you know?" Bobby pointed out. "It's kind of OCD for your average demon."

"Yeah, so what now?"

"We call Cas," I simply said.

"What?" Sam asked as if I suggested to most idiotic idea.

"This is usually the point where we would call Cas for help," I reminded them.

"We talked about this," Bobby said to me almost sympathetically.

"Yeah, Dean."

"No, you talked. I listened," I told them. "This is _Cas,_ guys. I mean, when there was no on and we were stuck- and I mean really stuck- he broke ranks. He has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freakin' times. This is Cas!" I said again as if it were reason enough, because for me it was. "Don't we owe him the benefit of the doubt at least?"

Sam sighed but agreed. "Castiel," he prayed. "This is really important, okay? Um… We really need to talk to you." When nothing happened I tried to pray.

"Castiel… Come on in." Still nothing happened and I couldn't help but feel a bit of disappointment curl up in me. "Cas is busy," I said.

"That's all right, we are too. Come on," Sam said.

"Back to square one," Bobby said.

"Great. Well, what do we do now?" I asked.

"Well, we caught one hunter demon down before, we can do it again," Bobby told us. Just when we were heading out Sam yelled.

"Dean!" The next thing I knew we were being attacked by demons.

"Crowley says 'Hi'," the demon said with a smirk. I didn't have to try and fight it off for long because the next thing I know, bright white light is coming from his eyes which mean Cas is here to save us.

"It's good to see you, Cas," I said with a smile once the smiting was done with. I knew he wasn't a bad guy because if he were then why bother saving us, right?

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah. Perfect timing, Cas," Sam told him.

"I'm glad I've found you. I come with news," the angel announced to us.

"Yeah, what?" I asked him.

"I firmly believe Crowley is alive."

"Yeah, you think Kojak?" I sarcastically asked. I then turned to look at Bobby. "Well, Bobby, what do you think about Cas saving our asses… Again?" I asked accusingly.

Bobby sighed. "I think I owe you an apology," he told Cas.

"Why?" Castiel asked.

"We've been hunting Crowley this whole time… And keeping it from you," Sam confessed. Castiel's confused face prompted them to continue.

"We thought you were working with him," Bobby then admitted.

"You thought what?" Castiel's voice sounded a mix of hurt and something else that I could quite put my finger on.

I huffed. "Yeah, I know it's crazy right?"

"It's just you torched the wrong bones. It doesn't matter; we were wrong," Bobby said kind of ashamed.

"You know, you could have asked me," Castiel told us.

"And we should have. We should've never doubted you," I said. "It's… I hope you can forgive us." I'm not sure what I'd do with myself if he couldn't forgive us…

After a pause Castiel said, "It's forgotten."

"Thanks," I said with a small smile.

"Yeah, thanks, Cas," Sam also said.

"It's a little absurd, though," Castiel said with a slight smile.

"I know, I know," Bobby said.

"Superman going to the dark side. I'm still just Castiel." Those words were like a sucker punch to my stomach knocking all the air out of me. How did Castiel know what Bobby said? I looked to Sam and Bobby and they both obviously noticed too, how would they not? They've been expecting it for a while now.

"I guess we can put away the Kryptonite, right?" I asked with a wavering voice.

"Exactly," Cas replied. He obviously didn't notice his slip up yet. How could Cas just lie right to us? I mean, sure we also did it but that was because of suspicion of him working with Crowley not because we were trying to end the world.

* * *

"Son of a bitch," I whispered once Cas was gone. My voice was a mixture of sadness, anger, and disappointment. I trusted him and he betrayed me. Stuff like this is why I refuse to get close to people because it hurts so much worse to be betrayed by someone you trust and are close to than someone you're not.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Sam said as if it makes things better.

"Maybe he picked up on some pop culture finally," I suggested hopefully even though I know it's not likely.

"Stop trying to fool yourself, boy," Bobby told me. "What we gotta do is make a plan for him to get here and have him explain it to us."

I sighed. "Yeah, you're right. We'll probably need holy oil because knowing him he'll just leave once we start asking questions." It sucks that we have to conspire against Cas now. I thought he was going to be one of the people that would never disappoint me and never betray me like that.

"If he comes," Sam unhelpfully said.

* * *

It was time to put our plan in action.

"Castiel, uh… We need you for a little powwow down here, so come on down," I prayed. Not even five seconds later Castiel was in the room.

"Hello," the angel greeted.

"Oh, Johnny on the spot," Bobby said with a slight eye roll.

Castiel looked around. "You still here," he pointed out.

"Yeah, we had to bury the bodies," Sam told him.

I held up a bottle. "And we found a little whiskey. Thanks for coming," I told him not only because of the plan but because even though Cas may be one of the bad guys now it's still good to see him.

"How can I help?" He asked.

"Oh, look," Sam said holding a book. "We, uh- we have a new plan. We think we've finally figured a way to track down Crowley." Castiel's eyes were confused and he started to walk towards us.

"What is it?"

Just then Bobby lit a match and threw it on the ground which lit the ring of holy oil trapping Castiel. "It's you," Bobby said.

Castiel looked around him nervously. Seeing Castiel so nervous was a bit heart wrenching. "What are you doing?" The angel asked sounding just as nervous.

"We gotta talk," I told him standing up.

"About what? Let me go!" He commanded.

"About Superman and Kryptonite," I told him. Cas' face showed that he finally understood that he was caught.

"How'd you know what I said?" Bobby asked accusingly.

"How long have you been watching us?" Sam then asked.

"You know who spies on people, Cas?" I asked. "Spies!"

"Okay, just wait; I don't even know what you mean!" Castiel told us.

"What about this demon craphole?" Sam asked him. "How is it so, uh, 'Next to Godliness' clean in here?"

"And how exactly did Crowley trick you with the wrong bones?" Bobby then questioned.

"It's hard to understand. It's hard to explain," Cas then told us. "Just let me go; let me out and I can-"

"You gotta look at me, man," I interrupted. "You got to level with me and tell me what's going on. Look at me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley." Castiel finally looked at me but it didn't last more than three seconds before he looked away. "You son of a bitch." I couldn't believe it.

"Let me explain," Castiel begged.

I continued as if he hadn't spoken. "You're in it with him? You and Crowley have been going after Purgatory together?" Castiel didn't speak. "You have, huh? This whole time." I didn't bother masking the hurt in my voice because Cas deserves to feel guilty about this.

"I did it to protect you!" He told me. "I did it to protect all of you," He said looking at each of us.

"Protect us how?" Sam questioned. "By opening a hole into monster land!?"

"He's right, Cas. One drop got through and it was Eve, and you want to break down the entire dam?" Bobby asked.

"To get the souls," Castiel told us. "I can stop Raphael. Please, you have to trust me."

"Trust you?!" Sam asked. "How in the hell are we supposed to trust you now?"

"I'm still me. I'm still your friend." Castiel paused. "Sam, I'm the one who raised you from Perdition." My head then snapped up to look at him. What the hell did he just say? He's using the Sam god damn line to Sam as he did to me? Not that I'd ever admit it out loud but I was jealous.

"What? Well, no offence but you did a pretty piss-poor job at it." Sam paused as a new thought came to him. "Wait. Did you bring me back soulless on purpose?"

Castiel's blue eyes showed plain hurt now. "How could you think that?"

"Well I'm thinking a lot of things right now, Cas."

"Listen; Raphael will kill us all. He'll turn the world into a graveyard! I had no choice!"

"No, you had a choice," I finally said, "You just made the wrong one."

"You don't understand," the angel said. "It's complicated."

"No, actually it's not, and you know that," I told him. "Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew it was wrong? When crap like this comes around we deal with it like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go and make another deal with the Devil!" I yelled at him.

"It sounds so simple when you say it like that." Castiel looked at me now. "Where were you when I needed to hear it?"

"I was there," I told him. "Where were you? You should have come to us for help, Cas."

"Maybe." Suddenly there was a loud wind and a dark cloud coming towards the house and I knew it was demon smoke. "It's too late now. I can't turn back now, I can't!" Castiel yelled over the wind.

"It's not too late! Damn it, Cas, we could fix this!" In my head I was begging for him to try to fix it because I can't lose him, I just can't.

"Dean, it's not broken!" He yelled back. The wind started to grow. "Run, you have to run now!" Nobody moved. "Run!" He yelled.

Sam, Bobby and I ran to the door but when I was by it I turned around to look at Cas. I wanted nothing more than to help him. But then again I know Cas won't accept my help so I just turned and stormed out the door.

* * *

"We should probably put up some angel proofing," Bobby pointed out once we were back at his house. After putting up the symbols we decided that it was time to sleep. I plopped down on the couch and fell asleep in no time.

It seemed like only fifteen minutes later- even though it was a few hours- there was a shift in the air. I opened my eyes to see Castiel standing beside the couch.

"Hello, Dean," he greeted just as he always did.

"How'd you get in here?" I questioned looking up at the symbols.

"The angel proofing Bobby put up on the house- some of it was wrong."

"Well, it's too bad we got to angel proof in the first place, isn't it?" I questioned as I got up off the couch. "What are you here?"

"I want you to understand."

"Oh, believe me, I get it. Blah, blah, Raphael, right?"

"I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this _because_ of you," my friend (ex-friend?) pleaded.

I scoffed. "Because of me, yeah; you got to be kidding me." How could he try to blame me with this?

"You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will-"

"You a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean you can do whatever it is you want!"

"I know what I'm doing, Dean."

"I'm not going to logic you," I told him. "I'm just saying don't, just 'cause. I'm asking you not to, that's it."

"I don't understand," Castiel replied.

"Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family. So if I'm asking you not to do something, you gotta trust me, man." My voice was full of hope. I was hoping that Cas will understand and will forget this who Purgatory thing. But of course I wasn't that lucky.

"Or what?" The question made me flinch as my hope drained away.

"Or I'll have to do what I have to do to stop you," I replied to him in a strained voice.

"You can't, Dean. You're just a man, I'm an angel." I was going to reply that I tackled some big fish before but then I realized that I'd still always feel the pain of Cas' betrayal so I decided on the next best thing.

"Then you just have to make me forget." Castiel's eyes were full of confusion so I clarified. "You make me forget everything about any angel I ever met- especially you- like Michael did with my parents. Then you have to promise me that you won't come in contact with me anymore."

Castiel inhaled sharply. "Dean-"

"No, Cas, if you won't stop working with Crowley you have to do this because I can't-" I took a breath and continued, "I can't stand to feel this _pain_ I've been feeling since I found out you betrayed me. I trusted you, Cas, I didn't have faith in God or any other angel, I had faith in you and it nearly killed me to find out that all you did these past months were just lies." I looked him in the eye. "I just don't want to feel this way anymore." I hadn't realized that tears were coming out of my eyes until Castiel wiped them away.

"I was there, you know," Cas whispered. "I was going to ask for your help but I stopped. I saw you raking leaves and realized that you already gave so much to the world and you deserved a break. I couldn't bring you back in after all you sacrificed already." Castiel sighed. "I couldn't just let Raphael restart the apocalypse since you, Sam, and Bobby tried so hard to make it not happen and when Crowley came he made me see that. I first said no but the thought of having all your sacrifices be good for nothing…" He trailed off.

It was silent for a while before I asked, "So what are you going to do, Cas? Are you going to open Purgatory or are you going to wipe my mind clear of all angels?" I saw conflict in Castiel's eyes as he thought this through.

"I cannot bear the thought of you forgetting me, Dean," Castiel finally told me, "But what are we going to do about Raphael?"

I took one of his hands with a smile. "We'll figure it out, Cas, we always do."

* * *

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated this in a while, I've been working on my new story _The Curse, The Trickster, and The Winchesters._ If you haven't already, check it out :D

P.S.

If you need a Beta for your Destiel fanfic, just ask me! I'll be glad to help! :D


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